Building Habits For a Contented Life

Imagine being happy all the time. Wouldn’t that be odd? Yet we seem to be constantly chasing “happiness” even though we know that life doesn’t work that way. In reality, happiness is a fleeting moment—an emotion. Emotions are ever-changing, and often influenced by external factors.  

Maybe we’re chasing the wrong thing. 

Introducing “Contentment” 

Influenced by external and internal factors, contentment is a deeper, lasting calmness that brings a natural sense of fulfillment, gratitude, joy, and serenity.  

You don’t “chase” contentment, you cultivate it with a desire to learn, change, and grow balanced with acceptance for where you are now. 

8 Ways to Bring Contentment to Your Life* 

The beauty here is that you can create habits and develop a mindset to bring this peacefulness to your life. It doesn’t happen overnight but use this list as a guide to own your thoughts and actions and ultimately move yourself toward contentment. 

Mindfulness: Pay attention to the present moment without judgment.  

• Do one thing at a time. 
• Take three deep, slow, intentional breaths. 
• Pray and/or meditate if you want. 
• Set aside regular time to be device-free. 

Gratitude: Find appreciation for the things you have. 

• Look for the good, the beauty, the joy. 
• Journal about it or keep a running list.
• Express gratitude to others.   

Acceptance: Acknowledge what is.

• It doesn’t mean you have to like what’s happening and it doesn’t mean you’re giving up/ giving in. 
• Realize that perfection doesn’t exist. 
• Remember you only have control over yourself. 

Curiosity: Bring an inquiring mind to your feelings. 

• All feelings are important messengers, take a moment to notice and observe. 
• Pay attention to the feeling. 
• Ask yourself, “What is it there for? What does it need? What is it saying to me? What can I learn from it? How will it help me decide?” 
• When you find something uncomfortable, let it sit. Resist the urge to push it away. 

Nature: Go outside, tune in to our world. 

• Sit on the ground and notice what you see, feel, hear, and smell. 
• Reflect on how all things in nature happen at just the right time in just the right way, without forcing anything. 

Hobbies: Do the things you enjoy. 

• Learn something new. 
• Express your creativity. 
• Take healthy risks; challenge yourself. 

Connection: You’re not alone. 

• Connect meaningfully with others. 
• Connect meaningfully with yourself. 
• Connect meaningfully with a Higher Power, if applicable. 

Boundaries: Prioritize your well-being. 

• Be mindful about what you say yes to and what you say no to.
• Be willing to change parts of your life that are not working.  
• Consider only taking responsibility for what belongs to you. 

Consistency is Key! 

Change happens when you focus on these habits . . . when you make them part of your routine. 

Start small where it feels easier and build on that. Always continue experimenting. With practice, you can learn to experience contentment even when things are stressful. You can learn to be okay even when happiness is not present. And when you work to create contentment in your life, don’t be surprised if some happiness bubbles up into your day. 

This blog was compiled from a presentation for the Wake County Library by Beth Pfitzenmaier, MS LCAS RYT-200, Clinical Training Director.  

Beth Pfitzenmaier

I value authenticity, courage, growth, and connection. As the Director of Clinical Training at SouthLight, I use my values on a daily basis as I work alongside others to ensure we are providing the best care possible. I recently completed yoga teacher training and am now a certified yoga teacher. I look forward to being able to more fully incorporate yoga into my work with the people I serve.

*NOTE: these are not a replacement for therapy or medications; if you are dealing with mental health struggles or an unhealthy relationship please seek professional help.

Resources:
BetterUp Article: https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-be-content-with-life
Body Scan on Youtube (there are TONS, here is one): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0f9wa2SUX0
Guest House poem: https://grateful.org/resource/guest-house-rumi/
More on the Blue Sky Idea: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56c1uL_O8Jk